The Entire Flat Belly Forever system download in PDF format. Feel free to get access to this program because it helps to lose belly fat. Before you’d download the system, please read Carolyn Schmidt’s story below.
If you are looking for some deep psychological diatribe about self-esteem, let me spare you some disappointment right now and encourage you to move on. I may get deep now and again and I also enjoy pontificating about psychological issues, particularly about self-esteem, but this isn’t that. At least not with any kind of real plan to be so. Right now this is a place where I hope to expel my emotional wind all over the place where no one really cares. And more than anything, it’s a place that I hope will keep me honest as I face my journey toward bariatric surgery.
I know when I look for information about the subject, I have a hard time finding the good, bad and ugly of it all. I find transformation photos (which I will also share) and recipes now and again (I’ll also share) but not a lot of nitty-gritty about how and why someone would choose to do this or the emotions they face over their struggles. I know I can’t be the only one.
Let me begin by stating that I know people think surgery is an easy way out. If you want to think so, that’s fine – I’m not here to change anyone’s mind or generate a new belief structure out there. I’m sharing my journey because it might be relatable. I’m writing the blog that I couldn’t find when I needed it. For all I know, this may be the easy way out, but realistically for me, it’s simply the only way out. I could give you my list of reasons that people who are clearly better people than I call “excuses”, but I don’t know what good it will do: work, kids, relationships, finances, time…it’s pretty much the same for all of us.
I know, I know…make time for me first, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, reward myself with healthy choices, what’s 20 minutes a day…I get it – you are awesomer than me. Cool. Here’s a different take on why I am fat: I didn’t really think of myself as fat for a really long time. I knew I carried some extra pounds, but I didn’t hate my build. I knew I wasn’t a 36-24-36 anymore (yes, I really was for many years) but I still got plenty of attention from very desirable humans. Then I could no longer buy things off the rack anymore and cute bras didn’t fit. At about 50lbs overweight, people stared when I wore a bathing suit or even while I was in regular clothes; one person even had the gall to ask me how it felt to be big, “No offense meant, but…”. Ridiculously, I answered, “I feel grounded and sturdy.” Silly answers I suppose, but I was a) so boggled by the audacity of the question that I was just trying to maintain my dignity and b) really tried to find answers to a question I’d never been asked.
Now I have had more time to think about the question. I’ve had opportunity to focus on the effects of my build and finally, I’ve gotten fatter. My answer wouldn’t be the same today. Though, let’s get real, my answer then should have been, “Is this research for a book? If not, fuck you – how does it feel to be an asshole?” Man, what I wouldn’t give to be as “fat” as I was back then. But I digress. I’ll answer here and now because it’s reached a point where I have to ask the question of myself.
Self: How does it feel to be so big?
Well, other self and the rest of the world, I’ll tell you. It sucks. It feels terrible…now. I’m now officially two of me. I need to lose as much as I want to keep. I haven’t capped the 300 bridge, but I’m well over the 250 phase. At 5′ 4″ that’s not just uncomfortable, that’s dangerous. But let me address danger for a minute – before you go blaming me or other fat people for being the reason your insurance is so high – I do not have diabetes, nor high blood pressure. I don’t have heart disease, I have healthy levels of cholesterol and while I do have a shitty thyroid, I take ONE cheap-ass medication for that. What I also have is a doctor who is convinced that I can’t possibly be “healthy” at this size and she must have missed something, so she insists on lab tests over and over again – and THAT costs my insurance company money. Just saying.
Back to the feels. Physically, I feel clunky and squeezed all the time, like I never fit anywhere and I am in a pretty constant state of warm. I almost never feel pretty anymore, but not because of what I see in the mirror – more what I see reflected in other people’s eyes when they look at me. I feel like I have to cover every inch of my body every second of the day lest I offend someone with a jiggle or blob. I feel guilty every time I enjoy something I’m eating. That’s how it feels to be fat. For me.
On the flip side, as tempting as it is, I am not one of those who embraces my fat. I have been in shape and I’ve been fat – being in shape was better. I was more flexible, I didn’t lose my breath as quickly, I could go swimming or wear shorts or basically do whatever I wanted without fear of body-shaming or judgment of my build or telling me I was so pretty except…so yeah, there are 1000 reasons for me to want to lose weight. Most of them probably around some type of vanity, but really at this point I consider it life-extending and a smart thing to do. In spite of being reasonably healthy (I’m not allowed to say healthy because fat is inherently unhealthy, am I right?!) I don’t know how long that will last and at 45, I’m not sure how many chances I have left for big game-changers.
So yeah – bariatric surgery because I (and the company I work for) have been paying steep insurance premiums to the same company for more than 20 years with only one minor laparoscopic surgery because of a rotten gall bladder several years back. I think the balance should probably be swinging in my direction at this point. I’m doing it.
The Entire Flat Belly Forever System