I love my mother and I love my sister. Through them I have found a community of womanhood that celebrates self love and a place to go to when I feel alone, because celebrating self love and womanhood isn’t the most welcome topic today. Which is bullshit. This is where I have to let some of my anxiety go so I can actually meet more likeminded women.
I’ve realized that even when some people say they understand me, there’s still some integral disconnect that isn’t my fault, and it’s not their fault either. We are programmed early on by weird things that stick with us forever, but I do believe it is possible to reprogram ourselves. When you meet the people who haven’t undergone that change, though, it’s a little off putting. No one wants to have their values turned around and slapped in their face.
I value honesty and understanding, which I don’t feel like I’ve been given and that makes me angry. I value minding your own goddamn business, but that hasn’t been respected either. So I’m faced with some options. Keep loving myself and forgive the misunderstandings, because the negativity that is directed towards me is coming from a place of fear and ignorance – or – let people’s misperceptions of my self love and freedom and celebration of being a strong fucking woman control me. And nobody but Donna has power over Donna.