A divorce is the easiest way to solve all interpersonal problems, which were continuously accumulated during many years of marriage. But what can you do if your family is facing this problem, but you still want to save your marriage and relationship? First of all, you need to think and understand what you really want, i.e. change your relations and upgrade them to a totally new level or just “make everything like it was before”.
If you have chosen the first option, get ready to work on your own, without waiting for any steps from your husband. This way is very slow and tough, but it always gives positive results. If you have chosen the second one, then try to think, why would you make everything “like it was before”? Those relations from your past have already brought you to the divorce once. If you return to your previous state, your life will continue to last from one argument to another.
I offer you to concentrate all your efforts on the first option, trying to improve your relationship. You can always return to your “usual state” without making any moves. If you are ready to start the restoration process, then I am really glad to offer you several efficient ways to improve relations in your family or couple.
The reason of your break up is not really important. It can be cheating, early marriage, significant problems of one of the partners (e.g. alcoholism), the first couple of years of your marriage or a tough year. By the way, you really need to download the “Save My Marriage Today” book by Amy Waterman. My friends were following methods described in that book and they were able to save their marriage, even though they were ready to divorce. I recommend it!
So, what do you have to do to save your marriage?
Make a serious decision to save your family. Why would you save your marriage? Many people are divorcing these days, even when they tried to save their marriage. They simply don’t understand the reason for such savings. The main motivation is usually the fear of staying alone. People don’t want to start a new life and they are afraid that they won’t be able to create a new family.
In other words, they are afraid that things will only get worse. That doesn’t really sound like a great motivation for marriage saving, does it? Think about yourself… maybe you have such fears too? Or maybe such fears are serving as the base of your decision to save your marriage?
Maybe you just want to restore relations in your family, because you remember your first years of marriage and you clearly understand that both partners are guilty in the current situation. You want to be happy and live your life with this man and his advantages and disadvantages don’t matter.
Create positive motivation, using your heart and brain. Repeat this motivation many times. Create a special mindset, which saves your marriage and lets you clearly understand the reasons for that. Many things depend on your mindset. At the moment when you want to leave forever, your mind will show you the real and better way.
Talk to your husband. Talk openly and clearly about the current situation and mutual problems. Talk about the perfect image of your family. You can even create two lists in order to avoid quarreling and create a friendly environment.
Promise to work on the problems, which were mentioned by your partner. You have to use the so-called principle of a fish tank. The principle of a fish tank: when your partner is speaking you have to be silent, even if you want to ask, correct or say something. You can take notes or write down questions (you can ask them later when your partner finishes his speech). Ask a question only to understand which actions you have to make in the future.
Save My Marriage Today by Amy Waterman