As the classic said, every family is unhappy in its own way. And yet sociologists have managed to compile records of the surveys and to identify the main causes of divorces and motives that are some different from them, or social reasons for termination of marriage. The majority of surveyed couples admitted that there were other, more specific problems in their divorce under the formal phrase “insurmountable differences”.
So 40% of the respondents were disappointed in the personal qualities of their partner, 20% (most women) could not endure the poverty, 30% blamed the spouse in irresponsible behavior regarding the family. And only 10% said the cause of the divorce with their spouse was alienation of affections.
Which Families Are At Risk
According to statistics, a third of all official marriages ends in divorce in USA. At risk, oddly enough, in the first place there are families that are married from 3 to 6 years with small children and newborns. So children, contrary to expectations, do not keep a modern couple together.
In second place there are the families with experience of 20-25 years of marriage which have raised and put on feet their children and suffer from the syndrome of “empty nest.” But less often there are cases of divorce in childless families, when unwillingness of one spouse to ever have their own or adopted children becomes the reason of divorce.
The risk of divorce, in fact, is not the cause of divorce and may not be an accurate indicator; however, some factors are suggestive. What if some marriages from the very beginning have poor chances of survival? For example, in many conflict families, the guy and the girl were familiar less than 6 months before marriage and did not have time to get to know each other properly. Psychologists do not argue that the additional six months of courtship before marriage would help to identify flaws in future partner and avoid a bad marriage.
On the contrary, the couple would have all the chances to get more successful and long-term relationship, because they would have been mentally prepared for the drawbacks of each other. By the way, Brad Browning’s book “Mend the Marriage” presents the unique system for the restoration of marriage. With its help you can really save a family on the verge of divorce! So feel free to download it, if you are in a difficult situation with your partner. God helps those who help themselves.
Behavioral Causes Of Divorce In The Modern Family
The struggle of one of the spouses with unacceptable behavior of another one can last a lifetime. Russian women bravely endure the alcoholism of their husbands as if this is unpleasant trait like rudeness or a short temper. At the same time, there became to appear in responses such causes of divorce, as illness of a spouse, and there is nothing to be proud because this is a negative trend of almost direct betrayal of marriage and family promises, on a par with adultery. Among the unacceptable qualities of the husband or wife that lead to divorce, people often indicate:
- permanent solution of the conflicts by quarrels and scandals;
- failure to provide for the family (men) and maintain a common household;
- unwarranted separate residence;
- found out adultery betrayal, lies;
- alcoholism and drug addiction;
- theft and other illegal activities.
Financial Reasons Are Important Too
Psychologists say that the conditions of poverty make family members very impatient to each other. Even if both partners make an equal effort to get out of debt or simply to survive, tense atmosphere absorbs all of their power and reduces feelings to zero.
Poverty is real challenge in marriage, especially with multiple kids. It happens that the husband loses the ability to earn money and wife is forced to support a family. In this situation it is very difficult to rely on the patience and devotion of the spouse, because she feels unfairly deprived.
People find it hard to accept changed circumstances, to adjust to the rhythm of life of the sick person, to sacrifice time and energy supporting him. The feeling that things could turn out differently and the guilt can destroy a person from the inside.
The causes of divorce in the United States are often associated with the question of housing. Young families, forced to reside under the same roof with their parents also risk not to celebrate the fifth anniversary of the wedding. It is required just from six months to two years for the development of the conflict with the older generation.
Mend the Marriage by Brad Browning