This article is for men, “for use at work.” In it, I share statistics and propose solutions to the question: what to do, if your wife cheated? No morals and advocacy for the preservation of the family. Why? As a practicing psychologist, I know perfectly well that every man considers himself the most intelligent; there is no authority for him. It seems to him that all the decisions he makes himself in his life. Let it be so))) But again, remember that when a man is making a decision about his wife urgently, while they have well-established family and kids, – how did other mean deal and act in a similar situation?
Cheating wife is one of the most painful blows that can befall on a man in his life. Most of the surveyed men believe: in the ranking of the possible personal tragedies, cheating wife takes no lower than third place, overtaking in importance even the threat of losing connection with own child after a divorce. Indeed, over time contact with the child can be restored, but forgetting that your wife had a sexual contact with some other men, for most men is almost impossible.
Upon learning of your wife’s infidelity, definitely making sure that it is an actual fact; you should understand that, unfortunately, you are not alone. I will leave the question of why wives are cheating for another article. Fir now, I’ll try to answer the next logical question: how should the man behave, when he learned that his wife was unfaithful to him?
To be honest, unambiguous and generic answer to this question does not exist and cannot exist. In my practice, I devoted at least a dozen main options for actions in this difficult situation. All of them are associated with a certain type of behavior of men and women before the emergence of female infidelity, and after the detection of this unpleasant fact. By the way, be sure to download the book “Survive Her Affair – A Man’s Guide To Healing & Dealing When Your Wife Cheats. This guide, in my opinion, is one of the best solutions for the problems connected to your cheating second half.
If you ask me why I’m not talking about the children, or rather of their presence in a couple, I’ll answer your question as follows. Almost 80% of cases where the presence of infidelity is from the wife’s side, show that husbands decide to save their marriage solely for the love to their children, and those families are usually completely destroyed during the period of up to five years. And this despite the fact that their husbands have decided bravely to clench their teeth, forgive their cheating wives and tolerate any psychological discomfort for the sake of their own children! As you can see yourself – often this model is unsustainable.
If you ask – “why”, answer is that human psychology is not static, but it is dynamic. It means that our preferences can vary depending on external circumstances, which could be presented by actions and option of other people. So, in the case if man makes a decision to “forget the betrayal of his wife and keep the family together for the sake of the children until they become adults, this seemingly “fully concrete installation” may be subject to corrosion and highly deformed.
When deciding on keeping your family after your wife’s infidelity, or filing a divorce, the ability and willingness of the spouses to live together further is not less important than the interests of children. In the end, I have to remind you: When the future husband and wife began to date and made a decision to start their life together, – they didn’t have children yet!