American civilized families at the first sign of a family crisis go to the psychologist together. Perhaps such campaigns help not every pair, but many people have high hopes for family therapists, he will let you have a heart to heart talk, and he will not let you make it personal and insult in the course of such conversation.
Don’t you want to go to a psychologist? Download the book Save The Marriage. The author of this book described in detail how to save a marriage. Most importantly, the method really works and has helped hundreds of families to avoid divorce. Before you start reading Lee H. Baucom’s book, I would like to give a few rules that will come in handy for those who want to save their marriage.
You should understand what you need to fix
Women especially love the operations to save their marriage. Selfless ladies rush on exploits for the return of her beloved to the family, come what may. Meanwhile, the first reasonable thing to do is to figure out whether your other half needs this salvation? Maybe one of the pair has long been decided that there is nothing to save, and just can’t find the courage to report it. Binding a person who absolutely does not need it is violence.
If your global outlook on life is completely different, if you do not agree in matters of religion, politics, parenting, welfare or life values, but you two have some kind of love chemistry, even then it will not save you from the inevitable breakup.
Therefore, it is more logical to begin any attempt at saving your marriage with frank discussion and mutual acceptance of conscious decision that this most cracked marriage is worth the efforts spent on its intensive care unit. Can’t decide? Take note of psychological exercises, which are widely used by family therapists.
You should understand the problem
Okay, we figured out that the marriage bond is not so strong and both husband and wife need its salvation. Now you should determine the problem, sick spots, and cracks that need prompt treatment: bad habits of husband, lack of attention, different views on life or the sudden disappearance of sexual desire for each other – what of this list of problems is the true cause of the cracks in family relationships? The deeper you dig into the sources of the disorder, the more likely to find what the cause of destruction and disorder is, and to understand how to deal with it.
You should be armed with theory
Do you wonder why family psychologists so famously manage to unravel the twisted tangles of problems? Is it innate talent, years of psychological practice or some secret instinct? No, any psychotherapist is armed to the teeth with theoretical knowledge about human behavior, about the temperaments and cyclical crises in the relationship. You can be armed with theory also and maybe, the answers to many questions will become clear for you.
Your husband’s quiet all the time, do not hurry to express his feelings, elation, and frustration, and you conclude that he lost interest in you, he does not love you, he is a callous dork. But maybe he is just usual phlegmatic, placid, slow-moving, but truly loves you. By the way, in the same way, it appears true that the relationship of people is changing with the time; a sense of security, attachment comes after passion – and that’s fine and is not an excuse for parting definitely.
Save The Marriage by Lee H. Baucom